Close the Gates at Dawn

Close the gates at dawn

I am recovering in the stillness of my den
Because alone is much more at ease to devise
Flawless white walls and a lavish bed
Books to read, books to forget
Books to be arrayed
And a pen and a desk and a red lamp.

The music swings to my caprice,
As I watch a movie, read a book and a paper
Watch the news and learn history;
I don't know the names, impersonal is safe.
I can play my games until I turn blind
All with myself; play of mind.
I can think and ponder truth all in my own way
And I can hope days change.

Never so lonely with my raven and imaginary companions
I will write you a line and draw you a few lines, but no more
My verve must rest alongside my pride a moment
And take turns until the slumber I shall be left frail
I will ring a few strings and study more than I ought
Because there is no more to reassure my sleeping beauties
Sloth must be earned.
And let me masturbate among the technological hums and twinkles

I can only hear whispers from outside, my whim can fashion a meaning
And if my qualms are not voluble enough I can converse with ghosts
Of my brother and phantom of the loving soul mate I don't like
I don't have to speak a word, the keys are at my fingertips
And out the ten feet wide window there's a scape altered to my fancy
A world is waiting for me, longing for me and I will parade when ready

Meanwhile I might drown my ennui in vice, to no avail
I have endured plenty to sink in besmirched opulence
And for my toil I will selfishly lift the weight of my soul
Once, twice and again, always lower every time
Till I am so exhausted I will cry and end my brooding
I will be numb as to wane my thoughts but I shan't sleep
And I will go hungry.
My clothes are clean and my hands too, and I will stain my arrogance
I have lived enough in my prison to descend the stairs of despair
I have imposed upon myself.

Then I will push the door ajar, and may the light of genuine life slither in
Just so much for the shade of the tall people to shade my fabulous trance
Outside are people with exquisite attires and crowns and wings and golden masks
People speaking, dancing, singing, playing a miasma of lovely notes, all together
They are painting and drawing and crafting and rich and powerful and gorgeous
And crush my thoughts and unsettle my fragile peace and love me and daunt me

The veil drop and I recognize them all. They're my friends.
In the meanders of my head